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What
Children Learn from Their Parents' Marriage
(Book Review, by Mia Cronan)
by Judith P. Siegel, Ph.D., C.S.W.
ISBN 0-06-019188-0
"It may be your marriage," say Siegel, "but it is your child's blueprint for intimate relationships he will form as an adult."
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After being married for a while, most couples would probably admit that their way of handling marriage is largely
influenced by what they witnessed in the marriages of their parents. And it's no wonder - what we see during our growing up years is likely to be our norm..
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In this book, What Children Learn from Their Parents' Marriage, Dr. Siegel identifies the various components within our relationship that provide the critical information to our children on topics such as being mutually supportive, resolving conflict, negotiating, and being friends.
Assuming that we, as parents, really do want the best for our children, Dr. Siegel highlights two areas through the book to help us focus on our behavior: One is how children react to the "here and now" within the family environment; the other is the consequences (of what we do here and now) and how they manifest themselves in later years after having become part of us. This can largely affect the types of spouses our children choose.
At the end of the book, there is a list of eye-opening questions to help us think honestly about our marriages and encourage communication between spouses. I found them to be very interesting!
I would highly recommend this book to anyone who has concerns about how their marriage is affecting their children's emotional development. It is a practical, well-written guide to digging a little into one's history to better shape one's children's future. No matter how hard we try to avoid it, we will all demonstrate traits we've gotten from our parents. This book can help you make those traits good one for your kids.
To order this book, click
here.
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