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I
Want It... And I Want it Now!
by Kimberly Danger
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Today’s
society of “I want, I want, I want!” combined with easy access to credit
makes instant gratification easier than ever. Anyone with a credit card can
shop all they want and worry about paying the bill later. |
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Reckless spending without
thought of future implications is the definition of financial immaturity. Lack
of impulse control is normal in babies, common in young children, but
destructive in adults. For those who never learned impulse control as a child,
this mentality can lead to self destructive spending and even debt.
Those that learn to delay gratification not only are better off financially,
they are more successful in life. Research shows that those with greater
self-control are more confident in social situations, go farther in achieving
their goals, and cope better with frustration and stress.
A widely publicized study involving a group of 4-year-olds and marshmallows
illustrates the impact of delay of gratification on future success. The study,
conducted at Stanford University by psychologist Walter Mischel, was important
in illustrating the connection between impulse control and lifelong success.
Here’s how it worked: Mischel offered a group of 4-year-olds one marshmallow.
They were told that if they waited for him to return from his errand
(approximately 15-20 minutes) before eating it, they could have two marshmallows
instead of one. The study concluded that the 4-year-olds who demonstrated
impulse control were more likely later on in life to achieve greater academic
and social success.
The good news is that like most skills, impulse control can be learned. As
parents, it is up to us to teach delay of gratification to our children.
• Patience is a Virtue
Requiring children to wait for things that they want comes in many forms. It can
mean waiting until after dinner to have the cookie; waiting until after their
homework is done to watch TV or waiting until Christmas to get that special new
toy.
• Work for It
Parents may want to give their children what they never had and often times are
financially able to do so, but are doing them a great disservice. Things don’t
work that way in the real world. Kids who learn the value of money by working
for what they want are better equipped to deal with reality once they leave the
nest.
• Finding Enjoyment in the Process
The kids in Mischel’s experiment who were able to successfully delay
gratification found ways of distracting themselves while they waited. Focusing
on the value in the process itself, rather than the reward is something we can
help our kids with. If it is our goal that our kids learn to play the piano,
help them enjoy practicing by giving them music they enjoy.
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About the Author:
Kimberly Danger is the publisher of
Mommysavers.com, a website
for moms interested in saving time and money. For seven years,
Mommysavers has been helping people live well for less. Kimberly
is the author of 1000 Best Baby Bargains. She lives in Southern
Minnesota with her husband and two kids. |
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