Train Your Brain To Entertain
by Sheldene Chant

Lavish food and luxurious surroundings are not necessarily the key to being the host or hostess with the mostest.  In fact food, drink and venue have very little to do with it. Success in the entertainment stakes is largely an intellectual exercise.

Whatever the occasion - maybe a light luncheon, bright and breezy brunch or an opportunity to be frightfully formal - the final outcome is entirely dependent on your state of mind.

If you expect to be hassled, you will be. If you dread the thought of what you have let yourself in for - watch out.

You need to go right back to basics and take another look at exactly what entertainment involves. I don't believe anyone decides to entertain because they wish to suffer. 

Sometimes it is something one has to do - rather than something one specifically chooses - but in any event, it will be a completely pointless exercise if you have no intention of either being entertaining or being entertained.

If you require inspiration take a peek inside a thesaurus. You will discover that no matter how minor, you are sharing in a celebration, an excuse for merriment and feasting, in convivial company.

You will probably be surprised to see the number of words devoted to this popular pastime, and none of them suggest you are embarking on a test, skillfully designed to ensure that you fail.

So, get your head together before you do anything. This is more vital than listing guests will ever be and, once you're feeling relaxed and confident, organizing the eats will be 'a piece of cake'.

The 'party convener' (that's you) sets the tone because, if the atmosphere is right, a happy conclusion is guaranteed.

It is essential you welcome your guests individually, and warmly. Let them know you are delighted to see them and that you mean to look after them. People who have received special treatment on arrival are far less likely to skulk in corners.

However in the early stages it is your job to root out lurkers (if any) and  introduce them to more jovial types. . Banish chairs so would-be wall flowers have nowhere to plant themselves, and ensure everyone mixes and mingles until the room is buzzing pleasantly.

Keep the snacks and drinks flowing - although they have now become secondary to 'great' conversation - and this is when you can begin to feel quietly triumphant. From now on the event will gather momentum and it's time for you to really start enjoying yourself. Wasn't it a marvelous idea to invite all these fantastic people?

Once you have done this a couple of times you will begin to develop a party persona and after that nothing will phase you. As you grow more convinced of your abilities, and therefore more confident, you will be more adventurous.

The key is to accept responsibility for your guests, and to ensure noone ever feels left out, or uncomfortable.

You, too, may be naturally shy and retiring but this is your party - and you CANNOT cry if you want to.

Having invited these people into your home it is up to you to set the scene, start conversations, and make sure everyone enjoys themselves. You have to be an incredible wimp if you can't psyche yourself up to do this in your own surroundings.

And it's not as bad as it sounds because your friends and acquaintances (unless you're in with a particularly weird bunch) are conditioned to humor you while they are in your lair.

So if the small talk flags, jump in and ad lib and don't worry about sounding ridiculous. In this instance it is very unlikely anyone will actually call you a fool.

Keep this up and in time your reputation as one of the original party animals will be entrenched. This will make it ever easier for you to do your own thing because now it will be expected of you.

Although you will probably never be as relaxed and vivacious, elsewhere, as you are on your own turf, your experiences will eventually allow you to rescue more timid entertainers. Save the day with some well-timed remarks when the proceedings falter, and they will be grateful. Which will make you a much sought-after guest in future.

Constant honing of your skills is well worth the effort - because you are developing a talent that becomes more rewarding as one grows older.

Nobody is going to be sorry for Aunt Kate if she can outdo Auntie Mame, any day, when arranging an extravaganza. .

Imagine what fun one can have with all those christenings, weddings and other gala happenings - to say nothing of one's own little bashes.

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