| Parenting Humor
Deck
The Halls With Balls of Holly NEW!
You can learn a lot about
Christmas carols if you just sing along with your kiddos. I
like to sing in the van. The kids aren’t old enough to be
totally embarrassed by this so I can still get away with it.
Here are some of the lyrics I’ve heard my little improvisers
come up with.
A
Better Mousetrap?
It has long been said that if
you, "Build a better mousetrap, the world will beat a path to
your door." So true. Inventors have long enjoyed
very lucrative careers spent ferreting out that which needs
improved, enlarged, reduced or what, in many cases we, the
unwashed masses, had no idea we could not live without.
The Night Of The Grinches
I should have known, smelled it, had Mommy radar go off..... something! It has been an idyllic and peaceful Christmas. We spent lots of quality time with
our boys, baking, shopping, reading stories and just hanging around together.
Family Picnic: Don't Bring The Nuts
Ah, summer. A time for taking the family to the park, or the lake, for a quality time picnic gathering. As an adventurer of the great outdoors, its my duty to enlighten you as to what mishaps may occur so that you can avoid them at all cost.
You
Don't Have to Learn the Hard Way
Becoming a parent has been the
greatest learning experience of my life. For some reason, I
thought that my marriage license was the equivalent of a masters
degree in the school of life.
Getting
in Touch with Your Inner Child
To be honest, I’m not sure if I am just in touch with my inner
child, or simply immature. I’m sure there would be convincing
litigation on either side of the debate.
Are
YOU Game?
I must confess that I, like a
huge portion of the obviously bored public, have taken to watching
the myriad of game shows that have flooded the airwaves in the
past months.
I
Have A Dream
While I enjoy the company of my kids, taking them on a trip has
become an expensive proposition. Airplane tickets are not cheap,
and all my children have had the audacity to grow, so no one can
sit in our laps for free anymore.
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Where
Does All The Money G(R)o?
My father, botanist/financial
guru - NOT, taught me an important lesson while growing up. Money
does not grow on trees. Well, back then my reaction was
predictably young, "Duh, Dad."
The
Universal Script of Parenting
While we grow up swearing we
will never say these things to our own children, in reality they
roll off our tongues without a second thought, and suddenly we
realize we are what our parents were for all those years . . .
blithering idiots.
Mission
Impossible
After twelve weeks of hearing
"I’m bored" and "It’s too hot to play
outside," I am more than ready to send my little angels back
to school.
Mommy
Always Come Last, Until Pain Is Involved, That Is. . .
What is it about parents,
especially mothers? We always place our needs and wants at the
bottom of the totem pole.
Taming
the Plastic Monster
Oh yes, I was a child expert. Everyone is a child expert
when they don't have any children or if their children are grown.
Un-Happy
Meal
Nowadays, most fast food toys are referred to fondly as
"junk". And that, according to just about any
parent, is sugar coating it.
My
Mother the Spy
I firmly believe my mother is a
spy. Not the run of the mill, garden variety snoop, but a hard
core, James Bond-rivaling agent of intrigue and defender of
national security.
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At-Home
Dads
Newborn
Tips
Four
months ago, my wife, Julia gave birth to our first child, Emma
Louise. Since I now know everything there is to know about
birth 'n babies, I am qualified to clear up any confusion you
may have regarding this complex process. Here are a few
tidbits of essential information to get you off to the right
start with your newborn.
The
New Father Fog
I will always remember when
I found out I was going to be a father for the first time.
Batman
My four-year-old son, Caleb, thinks he's Batman. Not a day
goes by that he doesn't put his Batman suit on and try and make
the world a safer place for us to live.
Parentally
Challenged…
For those of us who have kids from the age of newborn to toddler, practically all
of us know what certain sounds, cries or explosions mean.
How Do You Like Staying Home?
Humor by a father who traded in his briefcase for a diaper bag!
Men
& Women - We're Just Different
I don't care what anyone says - you can claim we're equal all
day long - but I'll never agree that men and women are the
same. We're distinct from day one. We're born different and
here's 5 evidences to back up my theory.
Humor only a
mother could love
The Sickness Dilemma
There¹s a huge market out there that parenting experts seem to have missed:
training parents on how to determine whether a child is too sick to go to
school or not.
The
Mystery of the Good Baby
My baby doesn’t cry very often. He let’s you know if
he’s sleepy or hungry, but besides that the guy is easy
going. People give him the ol’ double take, like he’s an
anomaly of sorts.
Back-To-School-Shopping:
Stop And Smell The Sale Racks
Like a child who can barely sleep on Christmas Eve, my heart
beats faster and my tummy tingles at the thought of escorting my
lovely daughters into those hallowed halls of learning, kissing
their little cheeks and then running like the wind for the door.
How to Eat Like a 5 Year Old
The first rule of thumb is to never, ever learn how to hold a knife, fork
or spoon correctly. This ensures maximum mess, however carefully you try to
maneuver your eating implements, although exercising care is not the order of the day.
Being a Mom…..
Job description for the toughest job in the world!
Pokemom
It’s the latest craze, and it’s enough to drive a
mom crazy!
Mom's
Shuttle Service
While
much has been written and joked about Mom's Taxi, I have a problem with comparing myself
to that mode of transportation. One, "taxi" brings to mind dirty,
smoky,
sometimes fringe infested autos driven by people who should not be driving a skateboard,
much less a car.
From Lullabies to Pop Music:
My Seven-Year-Old Discovers Teen Idols
It is not often that a parent and child can come to a meeting of the minds on
musical preferences, so my hat is off to these guys.
A Matter of Moments
There are moments in your life when you are faced with the reality of being a parent. It's
nature's way to remind you that you have spawned and can never forget it.
You know you're drinking too much coffee when ...
If you’re a coffee drinker, you’ll love this one…and maybe
even
relate to it!
Party
Politics
An amusing look at children's birthday parties
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