The Mystery of the Good Baby
by Karen Anderson
http://laughsunlimited.net

My baby doesn’t cry very often. He let’s you know if he’s sleepy or hungry, but besides that the guy is easy going. People give him the ol’ double take, like he’s an anomaly of sorts.

"I saw a baby like this one twenty years ago at a state fair and guess what? Baby didn’t have no tear ducts. Medical mystery - better get this fella checked out."

Spencer was born jaundiced and his doctor said he’d sleep more than other babies would. For some reason this pleased people.

"Oh, no wonder he’s so quiet. He’s jaundiced. Wait about three weeks and get back to us." 

Then they’d giggle like schoolgirls, actually wishing the worst upon new parents, whispering out the door to each other. 

"They think this is it - they’re gonna wish he stayed yellow."

When the three weeks were up we prepared for sleepless nights, short trips to the market and meals in restaurants that ended up in doggie bags, but nothing changed. He cried sometimes, yeah. I mean the boy has feelings - he’s not a replicant.

Parents who have had a similar experience generally say the same thing,

"Oh, he’s like our baby." 

This seems to bring out an ugly competitive edge that I try to hide but can’t.

"Yeah, he is just like your baby, except for the ugly part," I might mutter to myself.

"What’s that?"

" Yeah we’re lucky."

Are we lucky? Or did we do something different that made our baby easy going? Are we allowed any credit?

How many times have I heard, people say just wait ‘till the next one! Too many to recount. Everybody says you don’t know what kind of a temperament your baby is going to have. But I look at families I know and their children seem to echo the mood of their parents - especially in the toddler years when kids imitate their surroundings. Here are two examples. I know a family that is always in a crisis. Everything. It’s like a daytime talk show at their house.

"Honey will you tear up the lettuce for the salad?"

"Sure. Aaagghh, the lettuce cut me!! I got a paper cut from lettuce! I need a band aide!"

Meanwhile the three year old and the one year old are running around screaming, "Daddy, she punched me in the stomach and now I have Cancer!" Then he starts crying. Then the baby starts crying because Mom gouged herself with a piece of iceberg lettuce and her brother has Cancer and if she doesn’t start some crying soon, nobody will pay attention to her. 

Then I know another family with the same dynamics, Mom, Dad and a three year old and a one year old. Here’s the same scenario,

"Honey, can you help in here? I just need a salad."

"Sure. Boy this lettuce is sharp. Hey kids, come over here and feel this pointy lettuce, weird huh?

The kids begin giggling and then settle back into whatever they were doing.

Now, besides the ridiculous example of having sharp, pointy lettuce, both of these situations are based on actual observation. My husband and I have eaten dinner with both of these families many times and with out exception family number one ends up with us leaving as soon as possible because the stress factor has reached an unbearable level with the husband and wife fighting and kids crying. And family number two ends with conversation over dessert, Pictionary and pecks on the cheek as the children happily make their way to bed.

And how come the parents of the difficult kids always have the same excuses? "Oh, he’s sick." "Boy, if he doesn’t get his nap!" "He shot himself in the foot this morning." I mean I’d just love to hear, "Yeah, Joe - he’s still in his annoying stage. I’d watch it, he likes to kick."

I’m really not bragging about the fact that we have a "good" baby. I’m just investigating - okay lashing out at parents who insist that we got lucky this time and that our "next baby will have an unhealthy fascination with knives." If all the nay Sayers are correct, then I’ll help them spread the word by getting in the face of the next family I meet with a "good" baby and saying, 

"Must be nice, huh? Yeah our first one was just like yours - sleeping, eating, smiling and what not. Just wait ‘till the next one! Do you know an exorcist off hand? No. Well then, maybe you can get on The Sally Jesse Rafael Show."

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