The Sickness Dilemma
by Melanie Bowden

Therešs a huge market out there that parenting experts seem to have missed:  training parents on how to determine whether a child is too sick to go to school or not. 

Location: Danielle and Lindašs bedroom

Mom: Linda, time to get up for school.
Linda: Sniff.
Mom: Oh my gosh - are you sick?
Linda: I donšt know.
Mom: Hon - help, she can't be sick today! I have to get some work done and
make some business calls to editors.
Linda: Cough.
Mom: She's coughing and sniffling!
Dad : She's fine. Išm sure she can go to school.
Mom: How do you feel Linda? Do you feel sick? Does anything hurt?
Linda: I don't know.
Mom: Oh gosh - this would happen today - on the day I don't drive carpool and
finally get a break.
Danielle: Cough.
Mom: Oh no - they're both sick!
Danielle: I'm not sick. (leaves room)
Mom: O.K., but Linda you don't sound good. You were really tired yesterday,
too. Oh my poor baby.
Linda: I want to go to school.
Mom: I know, but you might get the other kids sick. How do you feel now?
Are you hot? Let me feel your forehead. Hon - can you stay home until I
make my calls if she doesn't go to school? We better call Lisa and tell her
not to pick Linda up for carpool.
Dad: I can't stay home - I have a lab meeting. She's fine - will you calm
down? (leaves room)
Linda: Sniff!
Mom: She doesn't sound fine and I hate your stupid work meetings! I really
wanted to get some writing done this morning. Oh that's awful - I'm going
to send her to school sick just because of my work. I'm a horrible mother.
(Sits down on Linda's bed and starts crying.)
Dad (returns after retrieving a flashlight): You're a wonderful mother. Let
me look at her. Here Linda - open your mouth and I'll check your throat.
Linda: No!
Dad: Linda - open your mouth. That's better. Her throat looks good. She's
fine - send her to school.
Linda: No - I want to stay home with mommy. I don't feel good. (Runs after
Danielle, laughing.)
Mom: Oh gosh. I donšt know what to do. She does seem like she's fine. Hon
- you decide - I can't handle the pressure. If I keep her home she won't be
sick, but if I send her to school they'll call in half an hour and say they
need me to pick her up.
Danielle (from other room): Linda's coughing!
Dad: Here Linda, let's get you some cough medicine.
Mom: Doesn't that stuff make her drowsy? That's not good before she goes to
school.
Dad: Relax. It's never bothered her before or given her side effects.
There, now she won't cough at school and, look at her, she's in perfectly
good spirits.
Mom: Alright, alright - she can go to school.
Dad: Thank goodness that's over.
Danielle (crying): Mom, my stomach hurts.
Mom: Oh gosh!

Remember this is all happening before seven-thirty in the morning. Silly me, I thought labor was hard.

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