From Lullabies to Pop Music: My Seven-Year-Old Discovers Teen Idols
 by Linda M. Sharp

It is not often that a parent and child can come to a meeting of the minds on musical preferences, so my hat is off to these guys.

 The saying goes that "Music hath charms to soothe the savage beast." Well, that may well be true if the beast is a tired lion and you are piping Brahms' Lullaby into his cage. But if your beast happens to be seven years old and the music is The Backstreet Boys, there is NO soothing going on! There is only a lot of lip-syncing, bottom wiggling, and an abundance of BAY-BAY. Yes, BAY-BAY, not baby. The Backstreet Boys have elevated the art of taking a word and increasing its personality threefold, and their use of the word BAY-BAY is displayed in almost every song. (And you know what BAY-BAY? That's all right by me, 'cause to paraphrase one of their songs, "They've got it goin' on!")

Yes, I must admit that strange as it seems, I share my daughter's enthusiasm for this group. It is not often that a parent and child can come to a meeting of the minds on musical preferences, so my hat is off to these guys. Truth be told, I discovered them long before my daughter was interested in anything but "Rock-A-Bye-Baby." Great voices, great lyrics, and great beat. It was perfect music to exercise with, although I'm not sure "The Boys" would be flattered to have their music connected in any way with the jiggling of my cellulite. Then again, whatever sells CDs, right BAY-BAY?

My daughter's infatuation with the group honestly took me by surprise. It seemed that almost overnight she went from listening to Disney soundtracks to jamming with Nick, Brian, AJ, Kevin, and Howie (of course I know their names!). Her Christmas list included their new CD and posters for her room. I was almost ready to say "WHOA!" but when I really thought about it, this is the same age I started papering my walls with Donny Osmond and using my allowance to buy Tiger Beat magazine. Surely all you thirty-something mommies can recall swooning to "Puppy Love"? Kissing a poster goodnight? Fantasizing as you caressed an album cover?

It got me to thinking about all the males I went gaga over back then. Leif Garrett, Shaun Cassidy, Bobby Sherman, even the Monkees. Granted I was going "ape" over them in reruns, but Davy was the throb in my heart for a long while. It surely must have driven my Dad nuts because my own husband is groaning about all his girls, even the three-year-old, going around singing, "I want it thaaaaaaat way..." Poor man. He walked in on them the other night as they were listening to Shania Twain and left shaking his head. Apparently you haven't lived till you've seen a three-year-old "Feel like a wooo-man," complete with Shania-shimmy.

Bedtime is hilarious around here now. My daughter has to touch each face on her poster and say goodnight. Now Nick, the youngest, is her favorite, so being the "cool Mom" that I am, I have chosen a favorite too -- Kevin, the one with the killer eyebrows and that Fu Manchu facial fur going on. (He was also one of People Magazine's 50 Most Beautiful People. I DO have taste.) After she bids them pleasant dreams, I jump on her bed screaming, "OH NICK! OH KEVIN!" and proceed to kiss all over her posters. She gives me that look that says she believes a village somewhere is being deprived of its idiot. Secretly I think she is pleased. When I go to her school every week to help in her class, I am able to speak fluent "Backstreet-ese" with her friends, and they think I am pretty cool.

This morning we spent an hour at BackstreetBoys.com, reading up on the guys, their birthdates, favorite foods, colors, etc. Funny, that P.R. crapola hasn't changed since Tiger Beat. They still say they like "nice girls, walks on the beach, pizza and their moms." We also checked out the tour schedule and while they are not coming near us, they are going to be in St. Louis where my sister lives. We were on the phone in a flash, and if she can come up with front row seats, Culley will get the birthday trip of her dreams in March. Of course, I will have to go as a chaperone. She is only seven. Uh-oh, my husband just saw me type that . . . I think I need to go soothe a savage beast . . . anyone seen my recording of Brahms? "Rock-a-bye BAY-BAY . . . er, baby . . ."

Linda Sharp is an internationally read humorist who writes regularly on the joyous and frustrating world of parenting. She may be read here weekly at ParenthoodWeb.com and her work wraps around the globe to appear in publications from Canada to Malaysia. Having been a frequent guest on the Wall Street Journal Radio Network's Work & Family program, Linda now wakes up the parents of Oregon with a laugh, appearing monthly on Good Morning Central Oregon.

Linda is co-creator of the totally irreverent and hysterical website, Sanity Central — A Time Out From Parenting!, located at http://www.sanitycentral.com . With a cartoon cast of experts, Sanity Central is packed with enough humor for a week's worth of laughter time-outs!

As a mother of three children (four if you count her husband), she firmly believes that laughter IS the best medicine. While her own life provides endless inspiration for her writing, she welcomes input and feedback from other parents! She may be reached via email at lsharp03@aol.com . Linda and her family currently shiver in the High Desert Country of central Oregon.

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