Domestic Career-Oriented Multiple Personality Types
by Amy Doran

As mothers in the "new millennium" it has become increasingly difficult to be all that we can be. Our grandmothers were happiest when they had the shiniest windows on the block. Our mothers were breaking the glass ceiling and becoming equals in the work arena. Now, it is left up to us to be everything. 

There are many who have chosen the career path and feel that it IS being the best mother, woman, wife, partner they can be.  Many of us have chosen to stay home and feel that it, too, is providing the greatest service to our family. Still there are some of us who are clearly "domestically career-oriented multiple personality types" (sounds good, huh, I made that up!) in short, we are trying to
do it all. 

We DCOMPT's are home because it is what is best for our kids, and yet we are crazy enough to try to run a business of some kind from home as well. Many of us require the extra income just so that we can be able to stay home, and the longer hours and "lighter" pay is our price for the domesticity we feel is absolutely necessary to balance our lives.

I am using myself as an example. I get up, get myself together and feed the kids. Run through and straighten up the house a bit. Sit down; answer emails, take care of some online business, get involved in one of the many projects I have going, just long enough to realize that it is now 10:15 and time to take my 5 year old to school. I am home by 11am to run through the kitchen clean up and occasionally have lunch with my husband (which while it is a joy can also be a major disruption) and sit back down to finish up some work, again getting just far enough into something that I am NEARLY getting SOMETHING accomplished, only to realize that it is now 2:00 and I need to run out to pick up both children. Twice a week, I return from dropping the kindergartner off at 10:30 only to go back to the school at 12:00 and help out until 2:30 when the kindergartner gets out. 

I return home, again, by 3:00 - put the kids on their chores, finish up any cleaning left undone, throw in some laundry and put out stuff for dinner. Every other week the children and I stop off at the grocery store to do our shopping. If I am lucky, I have just enough time to possibly tie up one or two loose business ends in time for my husband to be home and for me to start dinner. The rest of the evening is spent with family and getting kids prepared for the next day.

Heaven forbid there be a school party, holiday, or other special occasion that needs to be taken care of. Something is apt to slide somewhere, I assure you. And, unfortunately, the house is never as clean as my grandmother's. It's clean, but I wouldn't recommend eating off of the floors.

Does this sound familiar at all? Most likely. I'm sure many have it worse. Some better. It's all part of the big game. We DCOMPT's have a need to be great in all aspects of our lives, we need to be June Cleaver, Maggie Seaver (Growing Pains), and, quite possibly, Ally McBeal all rolled into one. 

Although, reality never looks that good. Especially not at 8am when you are still in your sweats with your hair sticking every which way, slurping down coffee at light speed, and sticking a post-it note on your monitor to remind yourself to brush your teeth. 

As adults, particularly moms, we spend some amount of time worrying about the way things are versus the way we think they should be. I live with the fear that I am not doing the BEST. Not MY best.  But, THE BEST. See the difference? 

This is going to be a very small consolation to many, but, you know what made me feel a little bit better? I had a parent-teacher conference with my kindergartner's teacher. She was mentioning that she had to try to really encourage so many parents to get involved. Then she said, "Of course, you and Mike (my husband) are the last people I would ever have to encourage."

At that point, I started to think, well, maybe I'm not so bad after all. Sometimes, it isn't reality that matters, it's the perception of reality that seems to have the greatest bearing on your self-worth. Of course, it was only a week later when I forgot the snack on my daughter's snack day... AFTER the 5 year old had reminded me 10 times!  What can I say? Like most websites, I'm a work in progress! 

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