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You're Not the Boss of Me: The Town Crier
by Christine K. Haskins
The joy I experienced after giving birth to my first child, a daughter now three, quickly turned to sheer panic when I was discharged from the hospital with a naked baby and a pacifier. "Where's the owner's manual?" "Is there a warranty or something?"
| This baby is a gift, I must be the perfect parent. So faster than the speed of light my husband and I began pouring through all sorts of baby books. We would look at the books, then look at the baby, look at the books again and look at the baby again. I thought, "My
gosh, what babies are they writing about." And then the terrifying reality set in.....
The baby I delivered was not a "book" baby. More specifically, I had given birth to the Town Crier.
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It was from the moment that we brought our little bundle of joy home that she demonstrated total disregard for anything the so-called "experts" put into print. My husband and I sifted through literature trying to find a solution to our daughter's crying. The book says feed every 3-4 hours. With the confidence of four days of parenting under our belts, we felt she couldn't possibly be hungry. I mean, after all the book said every 3-4 hours. I brought her into the doctor's office, surely there must be something wrong with her - something serious. But I was left with "Some babies just cry. Now please leave by the back exit, so you don't disturb the other patients." I couldn't believe this was happening, my baby was branded - - she was a crier.
It can be pretty lonely being the parent of a crier. Happy babies have a list a mile long of people offering to baby-sit them. But a crier is a totally different story. The first time you drop them off is usually your last. You have to keep finding new people. People who haven't heard, who don't know -------about the crier. I have found only your true friends and closest family will watch a crier. But you start to feel guilty because you can tell when it is taking a toll on them. The first time you drop the baby off they say "Take as long as you need. No Rush." The second time its "Exactly how long are you going to be gone?" The third time, if you are lucky, they don't even wait for you to get out of your car to pick-up the baby. They rush the baby out to you, diaper bag and all. No need to even stop the car. Usually after that the excuses start. Typically, they just don't answer the phone. You have to be creative and start disguising your voice. Most of the time their excuses for not being able to baby-sit sound very sincere and legitimate. But the parent of a crier knows better, what they are really trying to say is "I'd rather stick forks in my eyes than watch your baby."
You also have to get used to the comments from people in the grocery store, the bank, the post office - anywhere. I've heard them all. "At least her lungs work." Or how about " She's going to be an opera singer when she grows up." Then there is the ever-popular "It must be nap time. And in the in bad taste section "Gee, you don't have to worry about anyone abducting her." Oh, and let me not forget "I'm glad that part of my life is over." Is that supposed to comfort me?
Nothing is more heartbreaking for a mother than not being able to comfort your child. Since this was my first child, I felt the problem was me. Maybe part of it was my strive to be the perfect mom and those darn books. I should have followed my own instincts. I waited so long for her and being a mom was all I ever really wanted, but lets face it my daughter clearly was not working with me. The thing is, this didn't have to happen. This heartbreak could have been avoided if the formula companies would have come out with Similac or Enfamil PM. Does this make me a bad person?
| Christine K. Haskins is a freelance writer and a SAHM of Elizabeth, 3, and Richard, 1. |
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