You Are What You Spend
By Cheryl Gochnauer

Money talks.  And what does it say to working mothers?

“Are you nuts?  We’re barely making it on two incomes.  There’s no way you can stay home with your kids.”

Well, turn your back on that liar for a while.  We’re going to take a look
at some realistic cost-cutting ideas, and they don’t include rinsing out
Baggies and reusing them.   Maybe you can’t become a full-time, stay-at-home
mom.  Or maybe you can.  At the very least, you may be able to go part-time.

It’s not what you make; it’s what you spend.  You’ve heard it before, and it
’s true.  Who wants to be a millionaire?  I wouldn’t turn it down, but most
of us married for love, not for money, so now we need to make choices.

I choose to stay home.  So….

My mini-van is ten years old, not the 2000 model.  I love the look of the
new cars, but I’m not willing to go back to work to have one.

My house is modest, and we’ve remained here while half the neighbors have
upscaled.  Therefore, my house payment is less than most people in town pay
for rent.

My husband and I have educated ourselves to do chores we used to pay others
to perform:  painting our house, caring for our lawn, unstopping our drains,
figuring our taxes.

When we don’t know how to do something, we try to barter with someone who
does.  For instance, say you’re a whiz on the computer.  You can trade this
expertise with a college friend who’s good at working on cars:  one resume
or term paper for one oil change.

When I shop, I always negotiate the best deal.  That means I use coupons,
rebates, special promotions, price matching offers, and discount shopper
cards.  I buy next year’s coats at this year’s 80 percent off, end-of-season
sales.

I’ve put our utilities on level-payment plans, and instead of waiting for a
huge refund at tax time, my husband has adjusted his deductions at work so
that we see more money in each paycheck.

Just like weight-watching programs encourage us to “eat like a thin person,”
I’ve trained myself to spend like a thrifty person.  I’m incredulous when I
see someone drive by in a $40,000 car.  I’m even more amazed when the lady
who steps out of it sighs and tells me she wishes she could afford to be
home with her kids.  Aaaaack!

Is there anything inherently wrong with wanting nice things?  Of course not.
But no matter what the so-called American Dream promises, it’s still
impossible to have it all, all the time.

We all go through seasons in our lives, and each stage holds its own
rewards.  I’m sure there’s a new car in my future.  But right now, I’m in my
parenting season.  I’ve traded in my $400 month payment for precious
hands-on time with my girls.

(Would you like to receive this column as a free weekly e-mail newsletter?
Contact Cheryl at cheryl@homebodies.org  or visit her website at
www.homebodies.org.  Her book, “So You Want to Be a Stay-at-Home Mom,” is
available at your favorite bookstore, or online at www.amazon.com.
Copyright 2000 Cheryl Gochnauer.)

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