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Tips
for a Long Lasting Marriage
by Jenny Wanderscheid
So,
three kids later, a house, a mortgage, a pile of bills, hubby
working overtime, school clothes to buy, car repairs to pay for
and oh so much to worry about, how do we keep it together?
So, I am looking at the calendar here, and I get reminded
that soon I will have been married to my wonderful husband for 8
years. Hmmm. Not bad by today's standards. So, three kids later, a
house, a mortgage, a pile of bills, hubby working overtime, school
clothes to buy, car repairs to pay for and oh so much to worry
about, how do we keep it together?
I have a lot of people ask me the secret of a happy marriage. I
think if I had to pick one single thing, it would be our
commitment to one another. I may not always be passionately
in lust with my husband, and I may occasionally be frustrated with
him, and I am sure that I have irked him many a time, but
when you cut to the bottom line, we made a promise and a
commitment to one another. That commitment gets us through the
rough spots and on to better places.
So, we have the commitment that holds us together, but what about
the rest? Obviously by looking at today's divorce rate, it is just
not enough. People often ask me how we stay happy and in love with
each other. My answer? He is my best friend in the whole world. I
married someone that I truly and deeply love to be with. Even if I
wasn't married to him, I would want to be his friend. We enjoy a
lot of the same activities, and we think alike and agree on most
things. We spend time talking with each other, and we spend quiet
time just enjoying that the other is there.
Okay, so I have this great commitment with a wonderful friend.
Hmmm. Still not enough for a happy marriage. So what else is
there? Romance and lust don't last. If you build a marriage on
that, it probably will not work. But, throw romance and lust into
the mix of commitment and friendship and you have a recipe for
a long lasting adventure. Although I am not walking around
like a teenager on her first crush, my husband still has the power
to melt my knees with a smile. We have our lulls and our rough
spots like any couple, but in the end, I know that he is the man
of my dreams.
Now, throw in trust, humor, (lots of it) and a little quiet
time alone and you have a good recipe. Even if it is just a night
out at a movie, or as much as a weekend at a hotel, you HAVE to
make time for yourselves. I love being a mommy, but sometimes you
have to let your husband see the non mommy side of you too to keep
things fresh and romantic. Corny as it sounds, throw a love letter
in his lunch box. Call him at work just to tell him that you miss
him. And never, ever let him leave the house without kissing him
good bye and telling him that you love him.
I am not an expert on marriage, and I don't claim to know all the
answers. On my 70th anniversary maybe I will probably have more
advice, but for now, I hope this helps someone :)
Jenny is a 30 year old WAHM and the
creator of the ChildFun Family Website http://www.childfun.com/
She and her husband Rick are raising their three children in
Southern Minnesota with laughter and love.
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