The Pregnancy Merry-Go-Round Winds Down
by Brenda Hyde of SeedsofKnowledge.com

It was a wonderful adventurous 12 years, and now I get off the pregnancy merry-go-round. I am not sure how I feel about this new period in my life.

It was a long 12 years on the pregnancy merry-go-round for me. I went through the process of trying to conceive for four years, and ended up getting pregnant after three visits to the fertility doctor. I had never been around babies very much and the ride on the merry-go-round was spinning very quickly that first year. In fact, it had barely slowed down when I found out I was pregnant with my second child. Apparently I was now fertile! I often felt slightly queasy as I juggled a newborn and a one year old at the same time! 

The merry-go-round gradually slowed down and my husband and I were learning to raise our two boys and make a life for all of us. We assumed when we were ready to have a third, and last baby, all would go smoothly and happen quickly. We weren't prepared for two miscarriages and the emotions that whirled around and within us as the merry-go-round went full speed. I still think of the babies that I never knew, and wonder when those emotions will fade from my memory, or if they ever will. 

Now, at last we have our beautiful daughter and the pregnancy merry-go-round has come to a stop for us. The final days and then the hours while I was in labor were intense. I didn't take a single moment for granted. As my labor started I was nervous, but at the same time I was unexpectedly reserved. I wanted to remember every moment. When I gave birth, my nurses, my doctor and my husband were all cheering me on. There was laughter and tears as my daughter entered the world. I felt as if a piece of me had been missing and now I had found it. 

I am not so sure I like being on solid ground again, now that the merry-go-round has wound down. I realized after giving birth and settling in at home that my daughter was my last child. What I did not realize was the transition I needed to make from a woman who was working on building her family to one who now was finished with childbirth. It was a sad realization for me after all the years of riding the merry-go-round that I would not experience the miracle of birth again. 

As the weeks passed I started to feel better because I observed that our daughter seemed to be the last piece of our family puzzle. She fit in so perfectly, and the rest of us seemed to take shape too as we cared for her and smiled at the way she was getting accustomed to her surroundings. I felt like we were a complete family and it was ok for me to leave behind the pregnancy merry-go-round I had loved so much. Yes, it was a fantastic ride with ups and downs throughout the years, but now I would spend time on the roller coaster of parenting. Surely this ride would be just as adventurous and rewarding.

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