Why Settle for Pleasure When You Can Have Joy?
By Marnie Persons
SheLovesGod.com 

Understanding the differences between joy and pleasure can lead to greater happiness and fulfillment in life.

The other day I watched a biography of McKenzie Phillips. Most of her adult life was spent in drug addiction. Her drug habit got her fired from One Day at a Time twice. It led her down a path of self-destruction until she was shooting drugs every 15 minutes. Her many attempts at recovery were futile, until about 6-7 years ago when she received some real help. They interviewed McKenzie for the biography and she said, ''I was afraid I would never have fun again if I stayed sober.''

''She thought that was fun??'' I thought to myself. ''Being stoned out of her mind until she could no longer function was fun?'' Then it hit me; some peoples' fun is physical pleasures while other peoples' fun is joy. Pleasure could be compared to listening to music on a static-filled transistor radio while joy is like listening to your favorite song live with the original artist. Joy reaches dimensions you'll never experience with mere pleasure. And yet so many of us settle for momentary pleasures when we could be experiencing lasting joy and happiness.

I think one of the main reasons we settle is because we don't know the difference or even that there is a difference between pleasure and joy. When I think back over my life and try to remember times when I felt joyous, I think of my wedding day, holding my newborn babies for the first time, building meaningful relationships with valued friends and family members, and spending time with my husband. I've even experienced joy in my work when I've delivered a service that exceeded my customers' expectations, developed a Web site that offered a valuable service, or written articles that were particularly inspired. One of my greatest joys in life is teaching and sharing eternal truths with others.

From this self-examination of what brings joy, I was able to discern six characteristics of joy. Using these characteristics I hope to help the reader (and myself) recognize and actively seek joy instead of only pleasure.

Joy lasts

Among all those joyous memories I didn't once remember a wonderful cheesecake I ate on a particular date or the excitement of a new car or a television show I watched or a movie I saw. Sure, those things brought pleasure for the moment, but nothing lasting. Yet, I will never forget my wedding day or holding my babies in my arms for the first time. I can replay the thoughts and feelings of those occasions over and over. But, I can't replay the feelings or sensations of eating a hot fudge sundae. Joy has a lasting positive impact on our character and on who we are.

Joy comes from constructive activities

All of the joy-bringing activities and events I mentioned involve creating, building, sharing or giving. Although my list of activities will be different than yours, I would venture to say that your list would revolve around times when you were building or creating something -- building friendships, relationships, projects, etc. Joy never comes from tearing down or destroying. Pleasure might come from destructive things, but joy never does.

Joy has no negative side effects

Drugs, alcohol, pornography, and illicit sex all bring momentary pleasure, but their side effects are addiction, crime, and disease. Activities that render joy create no negative side effects. Joy's effects ripple for good. Both you and those you touch with your work, your talents, and your service are forever benefited for good.

Joy has spiritual dimensions

Pleasure pleases the physical senses while joy touches the spirit. A prime example of the spiritual nature of joy versus the physical nature of pleasure is in the union of a devoted husband and wife who love and respect each other. Sure, their union involves physical pleasure, but it is enhanced by a spiritual connection and joy that someone outside this bond will never experience with random acts and multiple partners. Even work, for work's sake does not always bring joy. The work you do that gives of yourself, the work in which you leave a bit of yourself behind is the most rewarding for everyone involved.

Joy requires effort

Pleasure is easy -- open a can of beer, eat a piece of cheesecake, call a psychic hotline, buy a new dress, pop a cigarette in your mouth, flick on the TV, or buy a movie ticket. Pleasure is passive. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with eating a piece of cheesecake or watching TV and movies. But, when you realize how precious life is, how short and fleeting, then you understand that when you spend too much time seeking pleasure, you sacrifice joy.

Joy does require effort and that is probably the biggest reason why most of us avoid it. We don't want to put forth the work it takes to experience joy. Yet joy is worth any price. The interesting thing about joy is that the rewards always outweigh the effort. The more effort you put in, the more joy you experience. The labor pains are always worth the child that is delivered to your arms. The time spent studying a good book is always more than reimbursed by the rewards of enlightenment, knowledge and the ability to share what you've learned with others. The joy of learning and then sharing your knowledge with others is a high you'll never experience from any drug.

Joy and pleasure have two things in common

Pleasure and joy do have two things in common. First they both make you feel good. It would be a lie to say that pleasure's sensations, however fleeting, don't make you feel good. On the other hand, the pleasurable feelings joy produces have side effects like increased confidence, strength of character and developed talents and abilities.

The second thing pleasure and joy have in common is that they are both addictive. No one questions the addictive nature of drugs, alcohol, cigarettes or even food. Joy is equally addictive without all the negative side effects. You won't gain 5 pounds by having an intelligent heart-felt conversation with a friend, but you'll be dying to speak to them again after you've absorbed all you shared in the last conversation. The fun times you spend with your family make you want to spend even more time with them. When you deliver an excellent service, you look forward to delivering it again and again. You can't help yourself. It becomes addictive.

The Law of Substitution

All of us need some fun in our lives. ''All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.'' But, I believe the cruelest trick we have played on ourselves as a society is that of believing that pleasure is the path to happiness. In the process we have created thousands, if not millions, of people who have become addicted to pleasure at the exclusion of joy and happiness. Overeating will not bring joy. Keeping up with the Jones' won't make us fulfilled. Alcohol and drugs will not bring happiness, but these things will bring heartache, destruction, debt and addiction.

As a society we need to start putting forth the effort to seek joy. You can't cure addictions without replacing the pleasures with something. If you leave a void, there will only be relapse. As McKenzie Phillips explained when she tried to quit drugs but hadn't found solutions to her problems, ''It was harder the next time because I'd tried before.'' Replace your pleasures with activities that bring joy! Instead of grabbing another donut, grab an enthralling book or take up a hobby that helps you build and develop your talents. Instead of reaching for a beer at the gas station, reach for the door and help an elderly lady to her car. Extend yourself to others in service with your talents and abilities, build and uplift and you will find greater joy and yes, pleasure, than you will ever find in pleasure seeking.

I'll even be so bold as to say that we can stop seeking pleasure altogether! The human mind knows how to find pleasure without seeking it. Seek joy and while you're building those family relationships, healthy friendships, talents, abilities and self-confidence you will automatically experience pleasure as a by product of your joy. As you replace your destructive pleasure seeking with joy-inducing activities, you will find that all desire for the old pleasures dissipate. Eventually you'll have no need for your old crutches; the old desires will be swallowed up in the joy of your newfound positive activities.

I challenge you to think about the activities and events that have brought you joy in the past. Make a list and check it against the characteristics of joy outlined above. Then take a hard look at your pleasure-seeking activities. Are there some that are destructive or have negative side effects? If so, decide today to eliminate one destructive behavior from your life and replace it with an activity that brings you joy. I promise you that the results will be so profound that you will never look back again.

Marnie Pehrson is an Internet developer, writer & moderator of ''Finding Your Way Home -- A Christian Perspective,'' a Christian support community helping you progress from whatever stage you are spiritually to the next level. Join in and receive inspirational quotes, articles, and thoughts like this 3-4 times/week. Also feature your own articles in the community and voice your opinions at http://www.ideamarketers.com/christian/ 

E-mail: webmaster@ideamarketers.com 

Related Articles

A Lesson Learned the Hard Way
One man's will teaches his family a lesson about what is really important in life.

If You Broke It, Mend It
Finding a way to make amends isn't easy, however, it can always be done.

Are You Selfish?
Sometimes I wonder how am I going to make it through my marriage, 
I am so mad, or so disgusted or feel so put out…

 Lessons from a Mall Food Court
I was sure glad the kids saved the table, because as I glanced around I could see there weren’t many empty seats, except the three at my table.