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Is Your
Personality Helping or Hindering Your Success?
by Niloufar Abedi,
Author of Highway to Success and Better living in USA
Do you
ever recall saying to yourself, “Today I choose to fail.” probably
not. I don’t think any of us ever made a conscious or deliberate
decision
to fail.
| But many of us have
used different justification for giving up on
our goals and dreams in life. Can you recall the times that you spent the
day running trivial errands instead of working toward a goal you cared
about, the times you focused on your weaknesses instead of your strengths.
Those are all manifestations of a decision to fail, and your personality
may have a lot to do with this decision. |
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It might come as a complete surprise to you, but we are all born with one
type of personality. Proactive. This is a positive personality that
helps
us to achieve success and accomplish goals. Unfortunately, many of us lose
this personality as we grow up due to personal and/or social experiences
and expectations. We develop other personalities such as victim, endurer,
dreamer, a sacrificial lamb. These personalities consist of negative habits
that creates fear in us. That fear is the actual cause of our
procrastination and our lack of action toward achievement of goals and
dreams. To understand procrastination, let’s start by looking at the
negative personalities first.
Victim Personality
The victim personality develops a symptom called loser limp, a ready-made,
built-in excuse for whatever misfortune comes her way. This personality has
perfected the art of “could have,” “should have,” and “if only.”
A victim
personality wastes the present and the future on a preoccupation with the
past and with matters that are out of her control.
If you have a victim personality, you fear taking charge of your own
destiny because you know that something, somehow, will stop you from
reaching your goals. Therefore, you will delay the start of anything new
until another person takes the lead. Then you can support her without
having to assume any authority, accept any responsibility or deal with fear
of failure. This avoidance of authority transforms you into a
procrastinator.
Endurer Personality
The endurer personality keeps everything as it is even if the situation is
difficult to tolerate.
The endurere major goal is to make it through the week and enjoy the
weekend. This personality is driven by a desire to live safely in the
present and very seldom plans for the future or learns from the past. The
endurer does not think about goals or dreams because they may not be
reached. The philosophy of this personality is “why take any risk?”
If you have an endurer personality, you are a firm believer that you will
fail regardless of your best attempts to succeed. This belief can easily
lead to a decision, often an unconscious one, to postpone action. Not forever, but just for
a little while. That, of course, is another way to describe procrastination. The
true basis for this fear is that the longer
you avoid trying, the longer you can hold the fear of failure away. You
might consider this action a protective strategy, but in reality you have
turned into a procrastinator.
Dreamer Personality
The dreamer personality lives in a never-never land of make-believe, pipe
dreams, and “someday.” This personality will think of exiting
concepts
late at night but never does anything about those concepts in the light of
the day. Dreamers have permanent potential but never quite get around to
turning those potentials to goals, plans, and actual activities. Their
favorite phrases start with, “Someday I will . . . “
If you have a dreamer personality, you have probably allowed other people
to set the standards for your success. Usually your reason for adopting
others’ standards was to gain a sense of security. Security is a good
thing. However, when it becomes the dominant focus of your life, you have
lost your perspective. Then you become petrified about taking any new risks
and you become your worst enemy. Procrastination is the best method you can
use to stay in your familiar but unproductive lifestyle.
Sacrificial Lamb Personality
A sacrificial lamb personality lives with the bitter taste of betrayal.
They are filled with bitterness, self-pity and a sense of failure. They
have a self-perceived feeling of weakness and inadequacy that they fear the
public will learn about. This fear of embarrassment creates
procrastination, and it is the reason they tolerate the present
circumstances regardless of its misery.
If you have a sacrificial lamb personality, there is a good chance that you
have been in a situation that you have put aside your own wants and needs
to furnish love and support to a loved one to succeed. The result of your
sacrifice has cost you your own self-respect. Now, you are avoiding making
a new life for yourself fearing that you are too old to succeed. This fear
is the major reason for your procrastination.
Procrastination is never a good or helpful trait because it is based in
fear. Procrastinators know what they want out of life, but they refuse to
take the risk of bringing their dreams to reality. The philosophy of a
procrastinator is to do only what must be done today and leave the rest for
tomorrow. They leave what must be done today to the very last minute, and
then do the best they can. This behavior creates a situation of constant
anxiety and fatigue.
If you are a procrastinator, the good news is that you simply have a bad
habit. The better news is that you have the ability to break out of it. And
the best way of breaking this habit is to take a step toward achieving one
of your goals. Take the word “someday” out of your vocabulary and in its
place put specific time frame for what you want to do. If you have a long
list of things you “must” accomplish, take a good look at your list and see
which ones will help you toward your goals. Give those tasks priority. Then
take one task and do it. It doesn’t matter how small or large that task
is. Start it and focus on it until you complete it. Then, as soon as
possible, start work on the next task.
This will help you to turn back to the proactive person you once were. As
proactive person, you will achieve your goals, and you will become an
effective force in your society. Your attitude toward any action will be
“better to do it today than tomorrow.” You will be authoritative, and you
will initiate the events you want to see happen. You will personally take
responsibility for fulfilling your own goals, and you will become intensely
focused on success. You won’t give up your dreams due to FEAR (False
Evidence Appearing Real), nor will you underestimate the effect of LUCK
(Labor Under correct Knowledge) in you life. You will be the successful
personality you were born to be.
You have the most precious gift of all. That gift is the time you have.
Use it to live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think
back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.
| Niloufar Abedi is a
private investor and a financial consultant to foreign
investors in the United States. Niloufar believes very strongly that
everyone should be the master of his(her) money and life. She has spent the
last twelve years researching the techniques of self-made millionaires in
America. Now she has combined those finding with her own personal and
professional experience in her new book, Highway to success. In this book,
Niloufar presents a simple system showing everyone how to achieve financial
independence step by step. To learn more about this book and the system
introduced, please visit her official site at: www.abedi.com. |
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