I know, mama. You want to give your child the world. But sometimes, no matter hard you work, no matter how much you do for her, it never feels enough. To her, you’re the greatest mom in the universe, but you feel like you could do more.
It’s normal to feel concerned that you’re not giving your child the life she deserves. This anxiety and guilt can consume us and make us feel like we’re not capable of being the parents our children need.
After all, no one prepares us for the challenges that motherhood brings. No matter how much you love your baby, it’s normal to feel like you could do more for her. But, how do you do it? The more stressed out you are about your journey as a parent, the harder it gets.
It’s okay to admit that being a mom is far from easy. You care about your little one, and you want her to live the best life she could possibly have. She doesn’t deserve anything less. So, how do you get out of this mindset that you’re not capable of giving your baby a healthy childhood?
Once you begin to overthink everything that you do, it can be hard to get out of this loop. But, here are some things that might help you feel like you’re doing the right thing for your sunshine.
1. Make time for her
I get it. Sometimes, it’s hard for your family to get together for a family meal, let alone a short trip. You get caught up in work, and your child is already old enough to play on her own. Once in a while, however, you sit down and wonder: Am I spending enough time with my baby?
If you feel like your little one deserves more of your presence, make time for her. You can make some fun plans, go out in a park, or simply wake up earlier to have breakfast with her. Make it your priority to spend more time with your little one.
Don’t worry about the dirty dishes or clothes that need to be washed. You can do that when she’s asleep or after you two have a walk together. Trust me, not only will you feel a lot better after you schedule some time with her, but it will bring the two of you even closer than before.
2. Don’t forget to compliment her
We often don’t realize just how important it is to praise our kids when they do something well. It’s easy for us to criticize them when they do something wrong, but when was the last time you told her what a good kid she is?
When they’re young, it’s our job to build their self-esteem. How we talk and how we behave around them plays a huge role in how they see themselves. More than anything else, it’s our words and actions that directly affect their confidence.
It only takes a moment to say something that will stick with your child forever. Praise her accomplishments, no matter how small they are. It will make her feel strong, capable, and confident, and you’ll feel a lot better knowing you’re raising her right.
Instead of constantly bossing her around and reprimanding her, catch her doing something right and let her know how proud of her you are. Give her a hug and a compliment when she shows good behavior. It will make all the difference in how she develops and sees herself in the future.
3. Prioritize communication
If you feel like you should be there for your child more, prioritize open communication with her. Make it a part of your day. Before bedtime, make a routine of talking about what happened that day. Show her that she can talk to you about anything and everything, and that you’ll always be there for her.
You can’t expect her to listen to you simply because you’re her mom. You need to earn her trust and admiration. Just like you do, your little one deserves an explanation behind your actions or the things that are happening in your life. If you tell her she’s not allowed to do something, explain to her why that’s the case.
This will enable her to learn and understand things that are happening more deeply, without any judgment. Be clear and open, and talk to her like you would with anyone else. Express how you feel about a certain subject, and describe any problems you two are facing.
This will give her the opportunity to work with you on solving the issue, rather than do things out of fear. As time progresses, you’ll see her become more open, too. She’ll learn how to express her feelings and frustrations, and she’ll know she’ll always be able to talk to you about whatever is bothering her.
4. Remember, you’re her role model
You won’t teach your kid how to act simply by telling her what she should or shouldn’t do. More than anything, kids learn by watching how their parents act. Before you decide to do something in front of your little one, ask yourself if that’s something you’d like her to do as well.
If there are certain traits that you’d like your kid to have, show them to her. Be compassionate, kind, helpful, honest, and friendly. Avoid lashing out at her, or making negative comments that may put her down.
5. Let her know that your love is unconditional
No matter what happens, you should let your child know you still love her. If she does something wrong and you correct her, don’t forget to show her that it doesn’t change the way you feel about her.
Even when you discipline your little one, try to do it with compassion and encouragement. Avoid blaming her for the things that happened or criticizing her every move. Yes, you expect her to behave better, but that doesn’t mean you no longer love her. Although you know that, she must know it, too.