If you’ve ever carried a diaper bag, pushed a stroller, or merely looked like you might be raising a human, chances are someone—friend, relative, cashier, random park lady—has hit you with the Holy Grail of parenting: unsolicited advice. It floats toward you like a cheerful balloon, except it’s filled with judgment, outdated opinions, and a touch of condescension. And the best part? You didn’t even have to ask.
It’s funny how everyone becomes a certified parenting expert the moment you give birth. Didn’t you know your baby should be sleeping through the night by now? Or that you’re clearly ruining them by letting them watch one episode of Bluey? Apparently, your kid’s long-term development hinges on your snack choices and how often you pick them up when they cry. Who knew?
But after a while—and by “a while,” I mean somewhere between week two and that first public tantrum—you develop your own coping methods. Do I always say the right thing? No. Do I sometimes nod while silently drafting a sarcastic memoir in my head? Absolutely. So here are seven delightful tips I never asked for and how I handled each one like the seasoned, sleep-deprived, coffee-fueled mom I am.
1. “You should sleep when the baby sleeps.”
“Sleep when the baby sleeps,” they said. It sounds like perfect logic until you factor in the mountain of tasks I could tackle during those precious nap minutes. I nodded along, thanking them for their sage advice, while secretly calculating how many micro-naps it would take to feel human again. Nap when the baby naps? Sure, if only my to-do list could take a nap too.
2. “Breast is best.”
Oh no, here we go—the guilt-train express. I breastfed, pumped, supplemented, cried, questioned myself, and made peace with whatever worked that day. Some people act like formula is powdered failure, but I call it powdered sanity. My baby was fed, loved, and thriving, and I was still standing—barely, but standing. It’s wild how people get more opinionated about your nipples than your actual doctor. I learned to let these comments slide off me like milk down a burp cloth.
3. “You’re holding her too much—she’ll get spoiled.”
I didn’t realize snuggling my own child was now a controversial act. Apparently, affection comes with a warning label? Holding her was the only thing that soothed her colic, calmed her cries, and kept me from crying myself. Also, she’s not a peach—I’m pretty sure she won’t rot from cuddles. I smiled, nodded, and held her a little tighter just out of spite (and love).
4. “My baby was sleeping through the night at 6 weeks.”
Hearing others share early milestones—like a newborn sleeping through the night—can be encouraging, but sometimes it also leads to unnecessary self-comparison. When my baby was waking every two hours, comments like these unintentionally made me question whether I was doing something wrong. Over time, I learned that sleep patterns vary widely among infants and are influenced by numerous factors. What worked for one family may not apply universally. I began to trust my own rhythm and accepted that our timeline was just as valid. Parenting isn’t a race; it’s a relationship built over time.
5. “You just need to let him cry it out.”
Sleep training is one of the most debated topics in parenting, and advice about it is often given freely—whether requested or not. While some families find success with the “cry it out” method, it wasn’t something I was comfortable with at every stage. I explored various gentle sleep strategies and tried different approaches until I found one that aligned with both my child’s temperament and my own values. It’s important to acknowledge that no single method works for everyone. What matters most is feeling confident in the choices we make, and being flexible when they need to change. Respecting different paths has helped me grow as a parent and as a person.
6. “You should really watch screen time.”
I didn’t plan to parent alongside animated woodland creatures, but here we are. The reality is, screens helped me get through dinner prep, Zoom meetings, and the stomach flu. And guess what? She still plays outside, reads books, and—gasp—knows her letters, thanks to that “evil” screen. Sometimes survival trumps the parenting books. I just smiled and said, “Yeah, we try to limit it,” while pressing play on Moana for the 200th time.
7. “You’re doing it wrong.”
Few comments are more disheartening than being told, directly or indirectly, that you’re parenting incorrectly. In the early months of motherhood, I often internalized such remarks, wondering if I was missing something essential. But as I grew into my role, I realized that no one outside our home could fully understand our dynamics, values, or needs. What looks “wrong” from the outside might be exactly what’s working on the inside. Parenting is personal, evolving, and deeply unique to each family. Confidence doesn’t come from doing everything right—it comes from doing what’s right for your child.