After a long day of taking care of your kids, you finally get some time for yourself. You sit down, make yourself a cup of coffee, and open Instagram. It doesn’t take you long to realize that it’s probably the worst thing you could’ve done at that moment.
You’re bombarded by photos of perfect moms living their perfect lives. You see their Pinterest-worthy homes and clean children. It’s like they climbed straight out of a fashion magazine! How do they do it? Are you doing this whole thing wrong?
You begin to question everything. From how your home looks to the way you raise your children. You stand up and look at yourself in the mirror. You’re wearing your old shirt covered in stains from when you were feeding your little one, and you can’t remember the last time you put on some makeup.
Those bags under your eyes aren’t helping, either. Between making sure your kids have something to eat, working, and trying to be there for them, how could you have time for anything else? How in the world do Instamoms do it?
You’re not alone in this, mama. And you’re definitely not doing anything wrong. The reality of raising kids is far from what you see in perfectly edited photos during your daily social media scrolling session. It’s messy, challenging, and difficult – and definitely not Instagram-worthy for most moms.
Except for this one, who decided to share her reality and normalize the chaos that motherhood brings. And let me tell you, it’s refreshing to see. Instead of making other moms feel bad for the way their day-to-day life really is, she wanted to let them know that it’s perfectly normal. Messy homes, dirty dishes, kids covered in spaghetti sauce, unbrushed hair – it’s all normal.
Just like any mom, she imagined motherhood would be a joyous experience. She always dreamed of her days being filled with laughter, hugs, kisses, and cuddles from her kids. Well, the reality was far different. Here’s her story.
“Ever since I was a young girl, I always dreamed of becoming a mom. I couldn’t help but daydream about having a home filled with laughter and happy memories, where I would watch my kids grow with the love of my life by my side. You know, kind of like what you see in your favorite Hollywood movies.
Let me tell you one thing – it’s far removed from any movie I’ve ever seen. Forget about the things you see on Instagram. Trust me when I tell you that those moms had three mental breakdowns before they got that one corner of their homes decent enough to take that perfect photo. I’m sure their galleries are filled with failed attempts and their kids simply refusing to stand still.
I was just like you, constantly feeling bad about the state of my home and myself. I felt like a failure, like a mom that was failing at taking care of her kids, even though they were living a perfectly happy and healthy childhood.
Until, one day, I had enough. Instead of putting each other down, why don’t we share the reality of what it’s like to be a mom? No matter how much we love our kids, it’s okay to admit that being a mom is one of the most challenging things a woman can go through.
My days are far from perfect and Instagrammable. They’re filled with feeding, diaper changes, trying to make my baby take a nap before she’s too tired to fall asleep, and then not being able to get anything done out of fear I might wake her up.
If you were to look at the state of my home right now, I’m pretty sure you’d be grateful for the mess you have. You can barely walk around my living room without stumbling on scattered toys, and my kitchen counter, covered in crumbs, looks like every ant’s dream.
Don’t worry, my bathroom doesn’t look any better. My laundry basket is overflowing and my dirty towels are still on the floor from the super-quick shower I managed to squeeze in this morning before my husband headed out for work.
Sometimes, I feel like I’m drowning in chaos. No matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to keep up with the mess. Every time I clean one area of my house, the other one gets messy. I live with small children, and I had to make peace with the fact that my home isn’t supposed to look like an Ikea showroom.
It’s impossible, so I don’t even try to make it look like it. I’d rather keep my sanity and be there for my kids than try to force this image of a perfect life I see all over social media. Kudos to those moms, really. But that’s not me, and I’m done comparing myself to them.
It’s time to stop idealizing motherhood. It’s far from easy. It’s far from perfect. It’s filled with sleepless nights, messy homes, dirty dishes, and unwashed clothes. My kids will wear dirty clothes (until bathtime, of course), my hair will be unbrushed, and my kitchen counter will be filled with unwashed coffee cups.
Until my babies are old enough to take care of themselves, this is my reality, and I’m okay with it. I want you to be okay with it, too.
No one expects you to be perfect, and it’s time you accept the fact that striving for perfection will do more harm than good. Having a perfectly clean home isn’t what makes you a good mom. It’s the fact that you’re there for your babies, no matter what.
Your kids don’t see your stained shirt or disheveled hair. They see a woman who devotes her time and energy to keeping them healthy and happy. They see their role model, in all her glory. Your babies don’t care about the state of your home. They need their mom to be happy, so don’t take that away from them.”
