Who would’ve thought spending every moment of your waking hour surrounded by your children, overwhelmed, and overworked would be so lonely? Stay-at-home moms know the struggle but choose to stay silent because of the stigma society forced upon them.
We’re aware that stay-at-home moms are heroes, but even heroes need a helping hand now and then. Read more down below!
Why do stay-at-home moms feel lonely and isolated from the rest of the world?
Before you became responsible for a little human bean, you might have been a lawyer, a banker, a doctor, or a teacher. You might have been a student struggling to get a degree. You might have been an employer of the month chasing after a promotion.
You had your dream, desires, and aspirations. You had a different life.
Fast forward to getting pregnant and becoming a parent, you might feel like you left your life behind. You traded your entire identity for changing diapers, cooking, cleaning, and making sure everyone’s happy, healthy, and taken care of. Yes, your husband, too. Now, you struggle to figure out where you fit.
Furthermore, you don’t get paid, promoted, or recognized for the work that you do on a regular. You work 24/7 but nobody views your work as valuable or worthy of acknowledgement. Your to-do lists are never-ending, frustrating, and unfulfilling. You don’t even get to complain. Or, do you?
What prevents stay-at-home moms from reaching out and asking for help?
OK, here’s the thing – people who argue that “you should do something about that” haven’t walked a mile in your shoes.
On one hand, you know what you’re going through, what you’re struggling with, and what prevents you from sleeping at night. On top of that, your feelings are valid no matter what – whether you’re drowning in shallow water or deep water, you’re still drowning!
On the other hand, you’re aware of what everyone’s going to say if you do complain about the troubles you go through on a regular.
People see your life as a “gift.” Your husband earns enough money to support you staying at home and you get to witness and share every milestone with your children. People seem to think you have nothing to complain about, but they’re wrong.
You can be grateful for the life you’re living and still acknowledge the fact that you’re struggling to stay afloat because you’re exhausted, overwhelmed, and stressed out. You can love your children more than anything in the world and still complain about the fact that they’re driving you insane.
You can always go back to work. However, in case there’s something preventing you from doing that, you need to work through your emotions and figure out a way to come to terms with your life. We can help you, of course!
How can you cope with the ups and downs of a stay-at-home mom lifestyle?
1. Come to terms with what it means to be a stay-at-home mom
Now, being a stay-at-home mom means different things to different people.
When you’re trying to get over that fear of missing out on your career, not being valued for the work that you do, or being lonely even when you’re surrounded by your children – you need to come to terms with what being a stay-at-home mom means to you.
Arrange a meeting with your husband and talk these things through. What does he expect from you? What do you expect from him? At the end of the day, the two of you are “partners in crime” and are responsible for figuring out what works and what doesn’t.
2. Get yourself a “mom tribe”
No matter how isolated you think you are, you’re not the only one questioning your decisions, navigating the stay-at-home lifestyle, and trying to figure out how to be happy about the decisions you made. Moms swear by mom tribes because they’re the perfect answer to your troubles.
Mom tribes, for those of you who aren’t familiar with the term, are groups of women with similar problems who get together for playdates, pamper nights, and gossip sessions. What’s not to love?!
3. Go outside
Oh, there’s nothing a little sunshine can’t turn around! When you’re overwhelmed by the amount of work you need to do and exhausted from screaming “Don’t do that!” and “Stop touching that!” – go outside. Get your children ready, grab a few snacks, and go outside.
Don’t mind the weather, they’re allowed to get a little dirty and wet, too. Change the routine a little bit and you’ll be surprised at how different you feel. Maybe you meet a mom or two on your way to the park and you can start your own mom tribe, too.
4. Give yourself a break
When your husband gets home from work, chances are he rests, takes a nap, or watches a game on the TV. He takes some time to unwind after a hard day before he tackles the children, the dishes, or whatever other chores he’s supposed to do. He doesn’t feel guilty about that, either.
We suggest doing the same thing. When you spend eight, ten, or twelve hours changing diapers, cooking, cleaning, and doing a million other chores, you deserve some rest, too. Go out with your friends, arrange a little pampering session for yourself, or watch your favorite TV show.
5. Spend some time with your husband
Why not do these things together with your husband, too? When the two of you became parents, you probably switched the focus off of your marriage and onto your children. While there’s nothing wrong with that (at first, at least), you do need to work on your relationship, too.
Go on dates, spend quality time together, and talk about your problems. Get the grandparents on board and make sure you have some time off once a week, or once every two weeks – whatever works for you.
6. Count your blessings
We’re aware that “count your blessings” sounds a lot like “you’re lucky to have the life you have, so don’t complain.” But that’s not what we’re trying to argue – you should complain when you’re exhausted and you shouldn’t shy away from sharing what you’re going through.
When you’re done doing that, though, don’t forget to remember all the good things that come with being a stay-at-home mom, too.
